Sambo-ism, part 1

For those who are uninitiated, Sambo is a legendary figure amongst those of African Heritage in the "New World." From the 20th Century forward, Sambo symbolized the docile, hapless, ne'er do well Black man with a simple mind and an unmistakable air of uneducated inferiority. This caricature dominated media imagery of Black folks in America for many years.

So after the Civil Rights movement, Sambo disappeared from our collective consciousness. The proud, brave men and women who fought and shed blood for equality brought about the permanent shift in the perception of African Americans, thusly rendering the parody moot.

I'm just kidding. The shit has just gotten worse over the years and Black entertainers often resort to minstrelsy to get attention, particularly from White audiences. From the recently and inexplicably popular Soulja Boy and Wacka Flocka Flame to the more innocuous "Leader" Michael Steele, the simple minded Black buffoon is as American as apple pie, military aggression, childhood obesity, and poor spelling. Throughout the coming months, I plan on exposing the rampant cooning that is once again passing itself off as leadership, entertainment, humor, and "reality" in the world. I will also start a petition to get anybody who appears on a VH1 show with the word "Love" anywhere in the title rounded up, sterilized, and dunked head first into this guy's bathwater.

I'd like to send a shout out to some particular embarrassing people.

Tyler Perry-In 2010, we still have to have Black Men emasculate themselves by dressing as women and portraying stereotypes. Who is he really trying to entertain? We know he's trying to sell buffoonery to suburban America and call it "blackness," but do they know they're just as complicit in this matter as he is?

Alvin Greene-When I first heard this, I thought Rev. Al Green was running for office. That would have been quite shocking, but I'd give up whiskey for almost 4 days just to hear "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" at a victory rally and dedicated to his fallen opponent. Instead, however, it is Alvin Greene running for the U.S. Senate in the state that still thinks that this flag is a good idea. Can't say I'm surprised that an inexperienced, unemployed, alleged porn aficionado is the best Democrat South Carolina has to offer (see Clyburn, James). But if you ever watch an interview with this guy, he makes Scottie Pippen look like James Earl Jones.


Rev. James David Manning-This is the Black Minister who has made a name for himself by calling Barack Obama the "Long Legged Mack Daddy." He's making it sound like Barack strolled up to him at the 40/40 club with a ruphied glass of Hypnotiq and told him he had weed from Amsterdam at his condo. This guy is a Black birther. So take heed people: we have more people who don't know Hawaii is a state. I guess they don't teach World War 2 like they used to.

50 Cent-Curtis hasn't done anything recently. But anybody who likes this guy is probably a little slow. I'm guessing his fanbase is officially limited to people who watch Grey's Anatomy and people who buy Justin Bieber posters. If any of your friends on Facebook become a fan of he who can only barely beat Ja Rule in a rap battle, de-friend them immediately. Also, re-evaluate your own life choices if you have such imbeciles in your world. Maybe you should stop looking for friends on craigslist.

Thanks for reading. And if you see a Sambo, Sambo lover, or Sambo apologist in your neck of the woods, don't be afraid to use force to subdue them and their stupidity. Don't hesitate to educate them on the error of their ways. Just don't do so using big words. Draw pictures if you have to.